What's Been Passing Through...

I get it, you don't like me. I'll stop. I can't.

Current Mood: depressed

...was that the right thing to say?

"A person from your past might be holding you back from enjoying the present – or rather, the memories of them are keeping you from moving forward. Are you stuck in the past? Yes, it’s important to understand how old relationships or old choices can affect you today, but you could run the risk of getting stuck in nostalgia. Progress stagnates when all you do is compare your current life to your past life. Put away the photo albums and decide to walk forward."

This was more horoscope for April 2, 2011. Everything about it is true.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: The Kills - Blood Pressure

"I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been"

I miss you, so much

This afternoon I had a dream
I had a dream I was in the backyard of a friend who's still my friend but not as close of a friend as we once were. Anyway, there were people also in this backyard.
So we are in the backyard. And I, of course, am on my computer, on some patio furniture. When all of a sudden, these people from elementary/high school come up to me. And start talking to me and try to show their dominanace. HOWEVER, I showed them that they couldn't push me around. Anyway, I managed to insult this one dude's girlfriend pretty bad, only to have him tell me they were still dating.
Then this other dude, who for some reason I felt it appropriate to make casual conversation with, starts telling me about how he works for Old Navy doing some promo-party uh stuff or something. It was dumb either way.
I'm just glad no one broke my computer.
Then I woke up. WHAT DOES IT MEAN.

Current Music: Caribou - Caribou Vibration Ensemble featuring Marshall Allen

August was pretty decent. I worked throughout the entire first half which was good moola in the bank. I also saw Arcade Fire and Janelle Monae which was beyond fantastic. Words cannot express how incredible it was.

A family member also died earlier in the month. So I had to spend a week in Montreal dealing with death which was really weird.

I've also been driving a lot more, on my fucking own too!! It's about time.

For the next two weeks I'm vacationing with my parents, which idk, might be alright but I highly doubt it.

I'm looking forward to getting back to steel town

Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: Fever Ray - Fever Ray

Lately I've just been feeling really unmotivated to do anything.
The past few days I've slept in far too late.
This has resulted in me feeling drowsy and uninspired to do much of anything.
Like geeze summer, get it together.
I need work, I've decided.
And moola.
I have this fear that someone's been taking money out of my bank account ever since I signed up for online banking.
But alas, I am too lazy to go to the bank to find out this information for sure.

I needs me some motivation good golly.

Current Music: 69 - Novo Rock

FACK. I gotta start writing more than once a month.
Anyway; this was my June.

The month began with my birthday, which is always fun (not). It was a lot a drama (per usual) and ended with me drinking my worries, and then puking out those worries.

Mid-June I got an internship! Well sort of. I did some graphic design work for this ultra indie record studio type place. I'm not sure if it's just for this one project or if it will be an on-going thing but it's something to do/put on resume blahblah.

I did NXNE again this year! It was more hectic but actually a lot better than last year. This year I actually was able to work at venues I wanted to be at! Except I didn't get a volunteer t-shirt. I did however meet Best Coast and Surfer Blood, saw them live (Surfer Blood twice) and saw Wavves too! So it was pretty successful! w00t!

Anyway, by the end of the month I learned how much I truly love some people, and I how I truly dislike some people.

So here's to the next two months!

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Sia - We Are Born

Okay so here's the end of May rap-up.
It's basics all my misery in one place.

I'm poor, I have awful spending habits.
My job gives me hardly any shifts-which is awful.
I applied for and interviewed for my dream internship, but it is now more than likely that I did not get the position.

I failed a course. However I cannot get any more grades because I owe the school $32.10 for a mattress cover that I stole. I thought it was mine, but turns out it wasn't. So I'm kind of not looking forward to sharing the great news to my rents.

Anyway, I do not know what will happen academically about this fail, but we shall see I guess.

Some of my very best friends (who are here in Ontario, not in other countries or provinces) I feel are giving me the cold shoulder for absolutely no reason. Why oh why.

I made a really great pinhole camera, but I'm afraid it isn't working.

All of this is adding up to crazy sadness in my main brain. So eff.

I'll try to update more in June, promize.
          
                         
                     

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Wolf Parade - Expo 86